aidanmo

having no expectations, didn't mean I had no hope. I asked "what ifs" and advice, I checked in on my horoscope I was looking for a sign, anything to prepare me for what scared me we both had obstacles, I played my part but we barely even got to move and I'm right back at the start I guess it's better to fail than wonder, I want that lighting in a bottle love, but next time, without this thunder sometimes timing is complicated, sometimes fate is so ill-fated you were far from the worst, but that list keeps improving, and this time I'll love myself first.

i feel dead when i think of you dead i can see now the chunks of myself you would take if you were gone you would take everything except for the vital things, i would be alive but nothing more my life coexists with your being and i need to be whole, let me be put together forever i need you too much being in your arms with your head on my head and your hand on my back feels like being myself

you are so cute, too much the way you ignore me so much but redeeming yourself comes simply i forgive you so quickly you frost over my heart but when you come back your words melt my icicles, back to the start i forgive you in warm water pooled under my hearts brutal slaughter i don't know how to feel, or where i stand if i ask you, i feel ridiculously bland you drag me through nuclear seasons because when you come back, you give me no reasons do my messages just sit in your pile of texts? read and don't reply, move on to the next? every blinking light makes my heart bright why is it never you frosted and disapointed i'm left everynight m

Happiness is not the ultimate goal I've felt each end of the spectrum I give my happiness away So I can feel like I'm myself Looking into the mirror seeing an empty casket I like what I see I am meant to look soulless I've felt myself happy I feel my shoulders ache from holding my self so high I like what I see now More than I liked being bloated with all the happiness I didn't deserve Other people smiling Warms my bones more than seeing it come from myself So I'll sell you my happiness If you promise to smile at me from time to time

not pushing myself to get closer to the win but hurting myself to get closer to the end a glimpse of the end a pleasurable blend of everything i think of before I fall asleep what does it take to die for a day

It's been 660 days at least Since i kissed you day one, I felt the pressure full force kicking me in the face I felt the regret Thinking I could have changed myself for you Then for hundreds of days I forgot your stupid face And I avoided your eyes Boys have blue eyes that make you want to die For hundreds of days I forgot about putting my head by your heart I blocked out our first kiss I erased the memories and I never replied to that last text Then the days of 600 came The pressure made a return With a full force kick in my face When I looked at your eyes Love wasn't supposed to be unpredictable like people say it is I told myse

The butterflies in my stomach fall like stones,     I   am left with a heart sinking feeling, though I       am   unsure of how to relieve this brutal weight,     no single person should have this effect, any     longer with the constant pain, and the words of       a violent storm that I am so       familiar with, I would fall apart from a glance of your     face I was torn apart and damaged when I was put     through a storm, and it leaves no question as to why     the hurricanes are named after the person in the       mirror

my stress is a lie the pinch in my head, it can't be stress because "school is the easy part" because "wait until you start working" because "it's just high school" I guess the pinch must just be a small worm nibbling my brain I guess the pinch, the worm feeds on my thoughts, but only thoughts of school the pinch, the worm that's why I'm awake at night, the worm over worked, I skip my lunch to keep caught up with the constant sheets handed to me when my eyes turn blood shot, it must be the worm shutting down, I fall asleep sitting up Its the worm, that's why I burst out crying whenever I feel the pinch these things happening to me,

let our cravings free in the dark, daylight restrictions keep your hands off of me but in the dark, watchful eyes are blinded, and we are finally alone silently stepping around the rules boundaries that we ignore, young years where we aren't supposed to be like this quietly, don't let anyone know we hide behind the silence with my hand over your mouth it's easy to paint our faces with innocence, but then we laugh we spent the whole time lying don't let anyone know what we do in the dark, when people are around we play pretend, the picturesque disguise of "just friends" it's hard to wait until the sun dies just to feel your touch, but I'

I want to be the light at the end of the tunnel though I act like the darkness I was never good at going to sleep though I spend my day dreaming I complain that I am lonely though I never reply to texts I am scared of the dark though I feel exposed in the light I wish though I don't try I don't know what hypocritical is I am just an area of grey